But, the computer says I have to... |
A few years ago, I was about to sneak under this flu shot radar. I had been on frequent travel during the flu season, and, through neglect, laziness, or apathy, no MP ever came knocking on my door, with syringe in hand. I felt that I had un-stuck it to the man.
I was wrong.
In late June of the next year, I was transferring jobs and had to complete the standard scavenger hunt of checklists, paperwork, and records. The last item to complete before I moved was the almighty medical screening. With my medical record in hand, I worked with a nurse, who dutifully pulled up her computer and scanned my electronic file. She looked befuddled:
Nurse: Sir, it says here that you didn't get a flu shot.At this point, I weighed the options of speaking to yet another medical bureaucrat and going through the above wrangling -- again. I just wanted to leave. I relented. I gave them my left arm. They stuck me with the old strain. By the next morning, I was sick. With the flu.
Me: That's correct. I didn't get a flu shot last year. I was on travel, and by the time I got back, I didn't bother.
Nurse: but, the computer says that you need a flu shot.
Me: I understand. But, I always get sick when you guys give me that shot, so...I don't think it's necessary.
Nurse: But, the computer...
Me: *sigh* Can I speak to your supervisor?
Supervisor: Sir, I understand that you don't want to get the flu shot.
Me: That is correct.
Supervisor: Well, you need to get a flu shot.
Me: OK. Before you go grab the orderly, let's be reasonable.
Supervisor: *blink blink*
Me: Flu season is when?
Supervisor: ...
Me: It's from Sep - March, right?
Supervisor: ...
Me: And, we're in the summer now? So, we're not even in the flu season.
Supervisor: ...
Me: And, the vaccine is created before flu season, right? So, we're talking about a strain that is probably almost a year old.
Supervisor: ...
Me: And you want to inject me with this now? After flu season, with an old vaccine?
Supervisor: Sir, the computer says...
Since that date, I have given up the fight. While I may prolong the day of my flu vaccination, I dutifully comply. In fact, yesterday I got the latest and greatest from Navy medicine.
This morning I feel sick...